Dear Jennifer,

Thanks so much for being willing to look after things while I’m away. As promised, here is a list of some things to be aware of.

1. The kitty litter boxes are in a few different places. There are two in the basement, near the bulkhead door, one in the guest bathroom, and one on the screen porch. I really appreciate it that you are willing to scoop them twice a day, because it means a lot to the cats. They get anxious if their litter isn’t clean.
2. You will need to sequester Wilbur and Angelo when you are feeding them, because they need to have special low purine cat food. I usually feed them in the downstairs bathroom. They are used to it now.
3. If you are any good at giving pills to cats, Guinevere is supposed to have one twice a day. I’ll leave the container on the kitchen counter. If you can’t get her to take it, don’t worry about it. It helps with the hairballs, though, if you can get her to take it without her biting you. 
4. Flopsy tends to eat too fast, and then brings it all up again. Don’t worry – she’s not actually ill. Extra paper towels are under the kitchen sink.
5. Be careful with Guinevere and Elvis. They will make a break for the door and they are fast. If they get outside, it’s usually not too difficult to recapture them, but sometimes they will get out of sight fast, chasing voles.
6. The door off the kitchen leads to my geolocation lab. The lock is keyed to my retinal scan, so you won’t be able to go there, but you shouldn’t need to.
7. Wilbur and Sasha have been known to catch mice in the basement. For some reason, they don’t eat the heads. Besides the paper towels under the kitchen sink, I also keep some on the shelf on the right as you go down to the basement.
8. Sometimes the locator pings are at a frequency that upsets the cats. You probably won’t ever be able to hear them, but you’ll be able to tell when the cats do. The pings rarely last more than a minute, though, and then you can try to calm down any cats that are not in hiding.
9. Most of them enjoy attention. Only Angelo, Elvis, and Guinevere are likely to want to sit on your lap, but if they all want to at once, you could have a little spat on your hands. Sasha is happy just to sit on the couch near you. Wilbur and Flopsy mostly show affection by rubbing up against your legs, especially at feeding time. They’re not really trying to trip you, but be careful.
10. You won’t see Sammy, but be careful when you go near the brown armchair. That is his spot for ambushing anything that comes near.  He is fast and has razor-sharp claws.
11. If you think of it, please bring in the mail. 
12. I definitely plan to be back in time to release the clamps on the foundation so that the house can be tractored to the mother ship in geostationary orbit, so you don’t need to worry about that. If you happen to notice any shrubbery that is overgrowing the clamps (unlikely), please use the pruning shears in the garage to cut it back.
13. Please do not hesitate to call me with any questions. I keep the phone number for my vet on the fridge, and she is very good.
14. Thank you again for your help!

Gratefully,

Dr. Leo Endicott