Q: What can you tell me about your body?

A: Well, to start with, I should probably say that this is one of the best bodies I’ve had. Human bodies, that is. I really loved being a red-tailed hawk, and I think back fondly about all my friends when I was a seahorse. But I’ve had some pretty shitty human bodies, not all of them, mind you, but yeah, for such a long time, everyone was dying from something awful by the time they were thirty, so this is quite the treat.

Q: Is there anything in particular you like about this body, besides, of course, that you have lived past thirty?

A: Well, it’s not for everyone, and I would say it’s only for people who are pretty damn strong, but I have always preferred being female. It’s the softness, I think. Babies tend to like you better, too, not all the time, of course, but usually, I’ve found. So that’s something I prefer. And in this body, even though it’s female, I am tall enough to reach the top cupboards, so that’s cool.

Q: Are there things you would want to change about this body?

A: You know, people are just naturally dissatisfied with things they’re used to, and bodies are no exception. I would probably get better knees, if it were up to me, and lose the occasional heartburn. I mean, what’s that all about? But overall, pretty much everything works, even if you do have to tweak it or kick the tires a bit.

Q: Is there a body you’re hoping for in your next incarnation?

A: Well, I just pretty much take it as it comes. It’s not like they give you a choice. I think being a meerkat might be nice sometime, if I’m going to be something that’s not human. I don’t know. I’ll just enjoy it.