In my closet, there is an idol, whose name I do not know.  The man at the store said it was the Virgin Mary, but I do not think so.  She looks at me sometimes.  Would the Blessed Mother do that?  I think she just smiles on her baby or her broken son.  This one watches me, not in a malevolent way.   I think she is just interested.  The real mother of God lives on too spiritual a plane to care whether I pick the red tie or the blue one, though once I asked her, and she seemed to be giving it serious consideration.  I was late for work, so I slammed the door before I got an answer, but I don’t think she minded.

I can’t burn incense in my closet – it would smell up my clothes, and maybe start a fire.  I just want to somehow let her know that I appreciate her company.  I do.  I really do, even though when I think about it sometimes, it does creep me out.

That’s why she stays in the closet, but also so she can be special, just for me, a pleasant surprise to come home to.

I used to think that maybe she could help me pick the lottery numbers, but when I talked to her about it, she just looked bored and even closed her eyes, so I figured I wouldn’t get anywhere with that, and it seemed like a bad idea to piss off a deity, even if it might be the Virgin Mary.  Or especially if it was.  I never heard of anyone saying no to her, so she could probably be pretty powerful.

Watching me.  I bet she wishes she had found a more interesting closet.