If I could go back, I certainly wouldn’t have worn those pants. I would have taken along a different lunch. I would have realized that even though I’m small for my age, I don’t need to always do as I’m told. I would not have answered that call. I would have befriended the giant grasshopper and received her blessing. It all came out all right in the end, though, didn’t it? Didn’t it? What did they expect me to do?…
Of all the people I could be, most of them wear glasses. Several of them wear contacts, although only one has opted for the kind that tint her (my) eyes teal. Some of the people I could be live in Scotland. I’ve never really understood why, but they say that they like the wind there, and I have to honor their choice. Some of the people I could be lead photo safaris in Kenya, pointing out leopards by day and…
I’m getting home from another interminable planning meeting with the Gotham Police Department. When do we get to fight criminals? “Hey, how was work?” He’s calling from the room we fixed up as an office for him. “It could have been better. Shall I ask Alfred to whip us up some dinner?” “In a minute. I just need to finish this – Oh, rats!” I walk in and he is intent on the computer screen. It might be the first…
“It was just a trick,” Alex said to his little brother, once they were in the car. “That’s what magicians do. It’s not real magic.” Scott’s voice quavered. “But he’s not disappeared forever, is he?” Their mother’s voice came from the driver’s seat. “Hey, guys, let’s get ice cream!” “Yay!” shouted Alex, while Scott still looked dubious. “Mama, how can he make people disappear?” “Sweetie, magicians don’t tell their secrets. I don’t know.” All she knew was that she had…
You probably don’t know this about the garden. It’s not like they would have told you when you closed on the house. They just care about making the sale. Anyway, by this time next week, all the flowers will be dead. Not just finished blooming. The plants themselves will have shriveled into brown and crunchy sticks. Yeah, I saw the delivery truck with the big order of annuals from Fishken’s nursery a few days ago. They’ll stay alive for a…
Dear Jennifer, Thanks so much for being willing to look after things while I’m away. As promised, here is a list of some things to be aware of. Gratefully, Dr. Leo Endicott
I didn’t know I was going to do it until I did it. I just couldn’t stand the idea of her getting her hooks into him. Why couldn’t he see that she was just a whore? She was willing to sell her body just to get citizenship status, which as far as I could tell, she didn’t deserve. She hardly spoke English, at least not so you could understand her. So I had to stop it. When the minister asked…
Every summer, our family went camping in Ontario. These days, they call it car camping, but we just called it camping. We packed up a lot of stuff in the back of our red 1962 Buick station wagon and headed out. It probably only happened once or twice, but it seemed like an important part of the trip was driving several hundred miles, realizing we had forgotten something, and turning around to go back for it, My parents were…
I watched this weird show the other night. It was part of a series on alternative lifestyles. The trailer showed a bunch of inter-racial couples, some people in polygamous relationships, and, of course, survivalists. So, kind of a mixed bag. Anyway, the show I caught was about these people who were living in what they called an “intentional community.” I guess that means the rest of us are unintentional, or something, I don’t know. They probably didn’t mean it as a…
I tell people I’m married. It just makes it easier. No one asks questions about my wife. And it makes me look better, more stable – a happily married man. Well, maybe not so happily, or else what am I doing in bed with you, but a stable married man. Married for twenty five years. The truth is, Alison left me after three years. What we had, I know I can never have again. There isn’t a day when I…